Grief
by PopcornCandyGirl109
Summary: Kagome goes through the 5 stages of grief after Sesshomaru passed away of unknown causes. What happened to him? Will Kagome go back to the way she used to be? Hmmm read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all my loving people. Well of course this a new story that I'm working on. The idea just came to me and I had to write this down. It will be short, 5-shot so please enjoy and R&R

Grief- 1. intense sorrow: great sadness, especially as a result of a death2. cause of intense sorrow: the cause of intense, deep, and profound sorrow, especially a specific event or situation

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**Stage 1- Denial**

The coffin was just standing there open for the whole world to stare at. Well at least everyone at this godforsaken funeral. The preacher went on with his words of death.

I stare at his beautiful face and think that we're just at home and he's sleeping. The only thing missing is the sound of his little snores. He just looks so peaceful as if nothing can touch him.

Almost as if his soul had grown wings and he flew away from his body that will forever remain cold and unfazed by time.

I don't cry when they call me to the front to say my goodbyes. I don't tell them how great he was or how I remember this one time and so-on. I stand up there with my back straight and say the only thing that needs to be said by me: "I will truly miss Sesshomaru."

I step down and take my place between his mother and step brother. His mom is sniffling and on the verge of crying again. Inuyasha may not have spoken much, and may not have liked his half-brother at all but he took it pretty rough. I can almost laugh but I hold it back.

Secretly he blamed me. I knew it deep down in my bones. I could feel it the way he tensed up when I sat back down next to him.

The funeral was over about thirty minute's later and I headed home. The house that we had called home. We were going to raise our kids in this house. Too bad we didn't have any.

I open the door and somewhere in my mind I see his head popping out from the kitchen doorway excited to see that I was home. He was the cook in this house. I walk by that doorway and into the living room. I see him watching TV and patting the spot next to him signaling for me to join him.

I do. I snuggle up to him, close my eyes, and breath in his deep scent and bask in its glory. When I open them he's gone.

No. I know he's here and that's all that matters. Even if all the others told me to let go I wont. Sesshomaru is here but he just needs somebody to wait for him. He'll come back. I know he will.

Any moment now he'll come through the front door after a long day at work, give me a hug and a kiss, and tell me he loves me and everything will be just… Normal. _Yepp that's exactly how it will go._ So I sit in his special chair and smile to myself thinking it will all be ok.

Everyone says he's gone but I know he's here.

_With me._

Forever and always.

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Well this is the first chapter. 4 more to go. Please tell me what you thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Stage 2- Anger

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He never came. A whole week later and he never walked through the door. I will never here "I love you" come out of his lips. Never again.

Why? He said he'd stay with me. Be with me always.

So where is he know? Where is he when I need him most?

_Why did this happen to me?_

I often heard bad things happen to good people but I didn't believe it until now. It was true and I was angry about it. Oh so _**painstakingly**_ aware of the void that was left behind.

It was all his fault. He had to up and leave me in this world alone forever.

I stare at one of the many pictures of us up on the wall.

Me smiling and happy. Him smiling at me not even looking at the camera _like_ he was supposed to be doing.

Disgust laces with my anger.

I slam the fist into the picture shattering the glass. The shards cut through my hand leaving it bleeding. I pull my hand back and stare at it. My blood if flowing because I am alive. Unlike my love.

I'm angry at my hand for bleeding. It makes me think. Back to the time when I happy. Back to when I had a life. A life full of my love for Sesshomaru. Back to when he too had blood that would seep from a cut.

Where was the love of my life now? Where was my knight in shining armor _huh_? Where was my hero? I don't see him coming to my rescue. _Where was he?_

My anger bubbles over as I slide down the wall into a sitting position. I pull my knees to face and rock slowly back and forth. My anger keeps my fidgeting and I have to move as the sheer force of my anger comes of in waves.

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So yepp this is chapter 2. Stay tuned for chapter 3! Please R&R.


	3. Chapter 3

**Stage 3: Bargaining**

4:27am.

I wake with a gasp for air. I slam my hand down and grab his pillow. I curl my body around it in a fetal position and cry like I have never cried before. After I spend a few minutes wallowing I my own self pity I sit up in my bed.

"Please Kami. Bring him back to me. It should have been me in that car wreck. Not him. It was all my fault. Take me instead. I _BEG_ of you!"

More tears spew down me face and drip on his pillow.

"Please take my life away and give it to him. He can have all of it. I just want to here his voice. Please… Please. Make this pain go away!"

No matter what I said nothing happened. I _begged_ and _begged_ and _begged_. But all that reached my ears was silence. Nothing but vast emptiness.

"Just give him back to me. I'd trade my own soul to devil himself if you can just give him back to me. I just can't go on like this anymore." I start sobbing and my words just turn into a jumbled mess that swirl around my head. Mocking me.

"I never should have thought you were cheating on me. I knew it wasn't possible. But all those late nights at the office. You were never home. I just thought that maybe you didn't love me anymore. I should have never doubted my faith in you."

"I just made you so mad when I went on and accused you. You left in such a rage. And it was just so stormy. Thunder and lighting and _**oh God**_ the rain! They said you were driving to fast to feel anything when you collided with the huge diesel. That it was an instant death."

"But why didn't the other driver suffer. He was the one that fell asleep. Why couldn't he have been the one to die? Its just please! I'm sorry! I know it was all my fault. Just take my life and give it to him!"

My voice rang out throughout the house. No one was there to answer me.

Because my pleas fell onto deaf ears.


End file.
